silent footfalls and secret lovers
by ifonlyyou were kuteandkuddly
Summary: it's all fun and games until someone loses their hair, then it's hilarious. or is it...


Two red-headed twins sat on their bed giggling devilishly as they scribbled on a piece of paper as they planned out all of tomorrow's activities.

"Hmmm. What should we do for Mori?" Hikaru asked his mirror image

"..."

"Lets skip him."Said the smarter of the two.

"But kaoru we're gonna have to figure it out sometime." Hikaru whined.

"We will later, sweet brother of mine." Kaoru teased running his soft finger under Hikaru's delicate chin, as his cheeks flushed a dark red. The older of the twins scrambled to pick up the papers as he cleared his throat.

"W-what should we do to Haruhi?" Hikaru managed to stutter out.

"Thats a hard one. She's not fazed by anything." He answered.

"Accept thunder." Hikaru corrected.

Evil grins spread across their faces as they drew up the rest of there plan.

**The next day**

The Hitachin brothers sat at their desks, it was early before class had stared when the doors where flung open by a very mad, baled, man."HIKARU! KAORU!" The two brothers smirked.''GET YOUR ASSES TO THE HOST CLUB** RIGHT NOW!!**" They got up swiftly trying to hold back laughter as they made their way passed him. They plopped themselves down on a couch in the middle of the of the host club with haruhi and kyouya. "I can't believe you did this to your beautiful father!'' He stared screaming ''I trusted you! I loved you! And I can't believe you took a picture's of this!!" Tamaki held up a magazine "The host club weakly." with a picture of him and Kyouya entangled in each others arms in a bed... the same bed. In the right hand corner was a smaller picture of Tamaki, in a red, lace, frilly, Lolita dress, sitting on Kyouyo's lap arms tightly wrapped around his neck. ''I cant 't believe that you would print this. And how did you get these pictures any way.''

The boys grinned evilly at one another. ''Thats for us to know.'' Hikaru said proudly ''And for you never to find out.'' Kaoru said right after him. ''But don't fret we sold all the girls in the whole school a copy of it. we also made this video of you guys. We made a ton money on it.'' they said synchronously. Kyouya stopped scribbling away on his clipboard (The siblings giggled looking at kyouya.) and looked up at the twins. With a hot under the collar exasperation ''You dID WHAT!! HIKARU! KAORU! YOU ARE DEAD MEAT!!'' He yelled so loud it could be heard all over the school. ''Your alive aren't you hika?''

''Ya how about you kao''

''Ya. So I guess we aren't dead meat.'' the two boys looked at each other and shrugged.

--Tamaki was now in the corner staring at himself in a hand held mirror mumbling something inaudible. Haruhi who was sitting quietly in one of the chairs stood up and started to walk away when her path was blocked by a white wedding dress.

"Here. Make sure this fits you for our next cosplay act." Hikaru and Kaoru said simultaneously shoving it into her face. Sighing she snatched the dress and walked toward a dressing room. The silence in the room was soon broken by a scream. Haruhi's scream. She burst out of the dressing room orange. literally orange. Tamaki slowly turned away from his corner his jaw dropping to the floor.

"**WHAT, HAVE YOU DONE TO MY DAUGHTER?!**" He yelled. Hikaru and Kaoru laughed and walked up behind Haruhi.

"Aw you look good in orange Haruhi." Hikaru laughed.

"C-c-come w-with us t-o th-e back. it-it'll co-me r-r-right o-out!!" Kaoru managed to choke out between fits of laughter. They lead her to the showers in the back and walked out.

"There should be shampoo and conditioner in there."

They called in unison as the two boys walked back to the main room and found Kyouya standing by the door.

"It's not gonna come off is it?'' He asked calmly.

''Nope!'' they said in high squeaky voices. ''By the way kyouya...'' The twins rushed forward snatching away his clipboard before he could even react. ''So what do you write on here Kyouya?'' Hikaru asked flipping to the last page and gasping dramatically. Kaoru pulled out a camera and snapped a photo. ''Tamaki look at what Kyouya had on his clipboard!!'' Kaoru said grabbing it from hikaru and holding it up for tamaki to see. His eyes widened as he looked at a picture of a girl in very skimpy clothing, tied to a bed and her panties very visible.

Haruhi suddenly screamed breaking the tension in the room.

''HIKARU!! ! KAORU! YOUR BOTH GUNNA BE DEAD BY THE TIME YOU WALK OUT THAT DOOR''

Kaoru turned to Hikaru. "Hika, did that make any secne to you?'' ''no.'' They both belted out laughing as Haruhi stomped into the room. Everybody looked at her with horrified eyes. Her hair was the brightest pink you would ever see.

''DO YOU SEE THIS?! IT'S PINK! OUT OF ALL THE COLORS TO CHOOSE YOU PICKED PINK!!''

The twins fell to the floor cracking up at all the events happening. Thats when hunny walked in holding a cake in his hand.. ''Hika-chan! Kao-chan! Whats so funny?'' He asked. The laughter broke off as they stared blankly at him for a few seconds before banging their fists on the floor laughing so hard they couldn't breath. Hunny just shrugged and got out a fork. He dug it into the cake and took a huge bite. As it touched his tongue he twitched. Hunny spat out the cake and started coughing.

''That was not cake!'' He cried staring at the vegetable filled plate. Mori stood on the other side of the twins staring at the vegetable filled plate. Unfortunately they had nothing planned for him. Hunny got up and slowly backed away from it. ''It's not cake...'' He said tears forming in the corners of his eyes. ''It's isn't cake...'' He said horrified. His foot caught on a string and two giant buckets of an unknown substance splashed against his front and back sides. Hunny looked up at Mori as the clear liquid flowed down onto the floor. Hikaru and Kaoru laughed even harder.(If possible) Hunny, now crying.

He ran to Mori and jumped on him clinging to his side. ''mori look what they did to me!'' He went to move up to mori's shoulders but was stuck. Seriously stuck. ''Uh... I can't move.'' Hunny said sobbing. Hikaru slapped Kaoru's shoulder.

''Kaoru. We didn't think of that.'' ''Nope!'' tears streamed down their faces as they howled ''priceless!!''

"you guys are probably wondering how we did this in one night." hikaru and kaoru said staring down at five bewildered faces. "it's simple really." "no it wasn't hikaru." " but you'll never know and we'll never tell."

after they planned it all out they forced the maids to get them gallons of the strongest super glue, pink hair dye in a shampoo bottle, longest lasting orange spray on tan and meet them in the host club in an hour, while they went for a little walk. grabbing a camera on the way out the door and started walking toward tamaki's house humming mission impossible on the way. When they reached it they climbed up to tamaki's balcony and peered into the window to see a horrifying sight. What they were hoping to get a picture of, was tamaki just getting out of the shower or something of the sort but the sight before them was much more alarming. Tamaki was sitting on kayouya's lap in a pink and white Lolita dress. The twins turned to one another. ''so much lace...'' tamaki leaned in to what looked like a kiss and they snapped a photo. "perfect." they hissed heading toward the school.

They got there and placed the cake in the fridge, the "shampoo" in the shower, and had the help to finished setting up the traps while they went back to tamaki's. They got there just in time, tamaki was sleeping like a baby. they drugged him so he wouldn't wake up, and dragged him to their limo. They slipped him into kayouya's bed pushing their faces really close together to snap one last photo of tamaki with hair. They summoned a bottle of hair remover and pored it on tamaki's head slicking his hair back. (remember he's drugged)

tamaki woke up to beautiful angry eyes of kayouya and started singing "secret lovers" in a very high pitched voice. Kayouya turned away spotting a bottle with a note underneath it reading: force this down tamaki's throat if you can before it's too late."

"kayouya, I love you!! lets go out sometime be my lover will you please." he said warping his arms around kayouya holding him in a tight embrace. He cringed and reached for the bottle, throwing tamaki back on the bed.

"Drink it!" tamaki's facial experestion darkened along with his voice, "say you love me and I will." "fine...I love you." "really?" "just drink it!" " say it one more time" a deep sigh escaped kayouya's lips. "grrrrrrr...i love you now drink it!" with that tamaki chugged the bottle with a big smile. He passed out right before kayouya's eyes.

"wow. What was in that?" kayouya kicked him off the bed who landed with a big thud on the floor. "ow!" tamaki mumbled climbing back up on the bed. "kayouya? Why are you in my bed?" "this is my bed." "why is your bed in my house?" "this is my house." "why am I in your bed in your house?" " I don't know."

" why is my hair slicked back?" he complained running his hand through the sticky mess. Pulling his hand down he noticed a glob of blond hair in his palm. He frantically clawed at his head not understanding why his hair was being pulled from his skull. Kayouya slapped him and yelled, "stop spazing out!" " but my hair! My beautiful golden locks! There all gone! All gone!" " its not all gone. I think there is a strip left behind your ear..." " am I still beautiful koya? Tell me I'm gorgeous!" " uh, sure, just stop shaking me"

hikaru woke up to the childish giggles of his younger brother. " why are you laughing ka-" the words caught in his throat, as he realized they were surrounded by a bunch of screaming girls. "k-kaoru why is are bed in the middle of the school lobby?" he stammered looking up at kaoru noticing he had no clothes on. Scrambling to gather the blankets over kaoru noticed he too was naked. He wrapped the sheet around both of them realizing that kaoru wasn't acting normal. He kept trying to pull the sheet off of hikaru and whining, "hikaru. Come on hikaru. Lets have some fun!" "kaoru no! Stop it! Do understand whats going on?! Kaoru!" shit he thought what am I going to do I'm naked in the school lobby surrounded by a bunch of girls and my brother is delirious...what now? He bit his lip. OK maybe I have a phone or clothes... He looked over at the girl closest to him.

"hey can you get me some clothes or something to wear?" he pulled her in to the bed. A whispered in her ear (remember he still holding kaoru down with the other arm.) "please?" which didn't work because she screamed even louder. He shoved her out of the bed and decided to chance running to the phone in the front of the school. He grabbed kaoru around the waist (which made him blush) and rushed through the sea of girls.

"but hikaru what about our bed?" " just forget about it!" he yelled glancing back at it which was now stripped of every pillow and sheet on it and now some other girls were attacking them for the ones that they had. Hikaru pushed kaoru half a step forward. "RUN KAORU!" "...but the bed-" "WHO CARES ABOUT THE BED! JUST GO!" "only if you promise to get us a new bed exactly like that-" "FINE! JUST RUN!" he stepped in close to push him away but was mulled by a bunch of screaming monsters. One teared the blanket from kaoru's body and he didn't fight for it. "KAORU! WHY DID YOU?" " I never liked that blanket." "yeah me either...wait thats the p-" a girl tried to grab the blanket from hikaru but he fought to keep hold.

But it ripped in half, then thirds, then fourths, then fifths, and by then he gave in and let them have it. In the chaos someone bumped hikaru and he stumbled forward falling into kaoru. unable to catch himself he landed on top of his twin in a lip lock. A flash blinded them both, hikaru tried to snap his head up to see what had caused it but was restrained by his brother who was apparently enjoying the moment. Clothes fell onto of them and hikaru managed to free himself from his brothers death grip. He scrambled to dress himself and kaoru.(who was not cooperating) the twins looked up noticing tamaki with a blond wig on, an orange skinned pink headed haruhi, an angry looking kayouya, and hunny and mori. (which by the way were not in school uniform, probably because they had to be cut out of their old ones.) hikaru let out a nervous laugh. "heh heh. Hey guys..."

(oh yeah. This is what was on the video)

"kayouya, I love you!! lets go out sometime be my lover will you please." 'forbidden love' flashed across the screen. kayouya slammed tamaki on the bed frame. "i love you." "tell me I'm gorgeous. Am I still beautiful?" "sure, now strip." the words 'two secret lovers' flashed across the screen. "tell me again. Say you love me again." "I love you" he paused. "Now drink it!" "OK!" coming soon... tamaki entangled his arms around kayouya and stared singing "secret lovers..." "shut up." a narrator voice played saying, "also buy our pictures at the host club" three pictures ran across the screen one of tamaki and kayouya kissing, one of them sleeping side by side, and one of tamaki in his dress on kayouya's lap which concluded the video/Trailer.


End file.
